It was a good experience for my first purple belt tournament. In all I am upset with myself with a few things that I did, but I got a lot out of this one, so it was worth it.
In my first fight in my division, I felt relaxed and ready to go. Didn’t have crazy nerves right before the fight, just went in there and did my thing. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really put myself in my position, and I started attacking something that I don’t do all the time successfully in training. I guess it works (occasionally) but it wasn’t my A game. I also got surprisingly tired. Moving from a 6 minute blue belt match to a 7 minute purple belt match really hit me hard. The last minute was grueling. I must work on my cardio big time if I’m going to compete at that level again.
I made very basic fundamental mistakes that I shouldn’t be making anymore. One of my teammates recorded me, and when I saw it again, I was cringing at the errors. I will not make them again. I was upset after my fight because I thought I had the potential to do better. I lost by 3 points, but I should have been much more aggressive. Anyhow – I took my gi off right away and went up into the stands pissed at myself. I watched the finals with the girl I had just fought. She finished her opponent with an armbar and won the division and I thought shoot! It could have been worse! At least I didn’t get tapped in my first purple belt tournament! Lol! Yes, I said that to make myself feel better, but I still know I have A LOT to work on.
I went in with the mentality that I wasn’t going to do the open weight division if I lost. Placing by default and knowing that there were a few other girls on my team competing who’d win and legit earn a spot kept me from putting my name on the list. Out of curiosity, I had gone to the table for open weight registration to see who on my team signed up and only one girl did – there was one spot open. It was the last minute and I said screw it, if no one wants to do it, I flew out here from NY, I better get a few more fights in!
I didn’t put much thought into it at all since I wasn’t going to do absolute till the last minute, but my very first fight out of the 13 purple belt girls who signed up was a good friend. We were staying together for the trip. I should have been prepared that it would be a possibility I’d fight her, but I didn’t even think of it and when I saw our names next to each other I was just like oh no. I didn’t want to fight her, but since we are on different teams, we had to. It was an excellent technical fight, but I let my emotions get involved too much. I didn’t want to fight my friend, and honestly it was weird. I didn’t give it my all. I wasn’t hungry to win. I dominated the beginning of the fight and didn’t attack really, she dominated the end and won.
I let my emotions get in the way of winning and I still can’t believe I did that. I guess winning for me was never everything, but then I realized after the tournament, why do I bother flying out to the other side of the country and competing if I’m going to have an attitude like that? In this trip I realized, if I’m not going to give it my all and leave it all out on the mat REGARDLESS of who I fight, it’s not worth doing it. I trained hard for this, but I didn’t have that hunger to win. The minute I get hungry and want it bad, that’s when I’ll compete again. The biggest lessons I learned with this tournament is that I need to have better conditioning, work on my fundamentals and me being nice in a tournament —- yeah —– fuck that.
For now, I’m taking a little bit of a break from training. Not sure if I’ll be gone a few days or a few weeks, but I have a lot going on. I might not do NY open, like I normally do. I’m moving away this week, and that’ll take up a lot of my time. My head is not into getting ready for another competition right now. I don’t want to burn myself out like last year. So I’ll just come back when I feel like it and after I’m settled in my new place.
Here’s some pictures taken from Pans:
Focused before my first fight